Email Archive

(Past Wisdom from our Band "Shaman")

3-23 = = = = = =
LATE BREAKING NEWS: MORGAN HILL SHOW!

FLASH!

EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT!

COCKTAIL MONKEYS PERFORM IN NEW MORGAN HILL LOCATION!

Renowned musical group The Cocktail Monkeys will be expanding the number of clubs they perform in by adding a new venue: Champs Bar & Grill in Morgan Hill California.  When asked for comment, the White Hose refused to speak on the record.  The speaker of the house was quoted as saying he had no prior knowledge.  The chief justice of the Supreme Court issued the following statement: “What on earth are you talking about?”

Further information can be obtained at the following location:

champs flyer

Sat. 3-23-13  Champs Bar & Grill    17330 Monterey Road Morgan Hill CA   9:00pm-1:00am

And that’s the way it is,

Renée, Will, Bobby, & Mark

 

3-15
One day only!

 . . . until you are out of days to make plans to come hear us because we are performing tomorrow so if you wait until tomorrow you would be out of days to plan to come hear us because tomorrow will be the actual day we're performing and that probably won't be enough time for you to Make The Proper Arraignments and then you will be disappointed because you ended up not going out and you stayed home and there was nothing on the TV and you didn't really want to watch any of your videos because you've seen all of them about a million times and even though you have about a hundred things you need to do around the house you sure as heck are not going to do them on a Friday night because you are not some old fogey who doesn't know how to party on  a Friday night . . . dammit!

So we're thinkin' you might want to make plans tonight.

NumberOne Broadway Poster

Fri. 3-15-13   Number One Broadway   102 B. S Santa Cruz Ave, Los Gatos, CA 95030   9:30pm-1:30am

Act now,

Renée, Will, Bobby, & Mark

 


3-1
Come hear us at a new (old) place!

People walk up to us all the time and they say, “Hey! How come you don’t play [anywhere near us]?  Well, in an effort to meet the needs of our loyal, smart, sweet smelling, attractive, and in no way susceptible to sycophancy fans, we are going to try a new (old) venue: Lilly Mac’s in Sunnyvale!

We used to play there (and another place in Sunnyvale.  Boy, do we have some stories - but that’s another e-mail*).  Then, for reasons to warped and weird to explain here, we stopped.  Now, we have been lured back.  So, we’re gonna give it a whirl.  Let’s all find out how it goes together.

Lilly Macs Poster

3-1-13   Lilly Mac’s   187 South Murphy Ave   Sunnyvale, CA 94086   9:30pm-1:20am

Curiously yours,

Mark, Renée, Will, & Bobby

* Or you could come to Lilly Macs, ask us on one of our breaks, and have us regale you with jocular, bawdy anecdotes.
2-14 = = = = = =
500 performances!

It seems like just yesterday that the Cocktail Monkeys, armed with nothing more than some musical instruments, a couple dozen bottles of booze, and a dream set out to conquer the world – or at least a small part of it.  Bobby, the band statistician, has informed us that this Thursday we will perform our 500th show! 

We would ask you to all come out and celebrate with us, but show business can be a capricious mistress.  It turns out our 500th show is a private party, so our friends can’t come (now we think we know how a baseball team feels when they do something important during an away game). 

Anyway, although we are very disappointed that you can’t be with us on our special night, the silver lining is that you could come out to posthumously celebrate our 500th show with us during our 501st or 502nd shows:

Number One Broadway and Main Stree Brewery Poster

Fri. 2-15-13   Main St. Brewery  830 Main Street Pleasanton, CA 94566   9:00pm -12:00am
Sat. 2-16-13   Number One Broadway   102 B. S Santa Cruz Ave, Los Gatos, CA 95030   9:30pm-1:30am

Give us a laurel, and hardy handshake* when you see us to commemorate the event,

Bobby, Mark, Renée, & Will

* Mel Brooks: Blazing Saddles

 


1-18
Wardrobe malfunction

Nothing as cool as Renée exposing one her breasts – which we’re sure some of you would just love to see (you pervs!).

Will ripped his pants.

It happened like this:  Will was setting up his drums, and he noticed a problem with his bass drum.  He squatted down to take care of it and unbeknownst to him, his monitor stand was right behind him.  It’s about a foot tall with a semi-sharp prong on the top (so that the monitor will fasten onto it). 

Yup, you guessed it – Will sat on the dang thing.  Rrrrrriiiiiip!  He tears a gigantic hole in the back of his pants – perfect for exposing his gluteus maximus. 

So here is Will with a fantastic rip in his pants.  He is not in the habit of carrying around a spare pair of pants*.  Sure (you say) he’s in the back and sitting down, but he would like to get up at some point and use the restroom.  Besides, it would look kind of silly for the rest of the band to take their break while Will just sits up there on the stage. (“Hey! What’s the matter with that guy? Does he got a hole in his pants or something?”)

Now, if you’ve ever been in a band for any amount of time, you learn to always carry emergency supplies (spare parts, tools, etc.).  One of those emergency supplies is gaffers tape.  If you don’t know what it is, think ultra super quality duct tape.  Well, our plucky drummer grabs the tape, waddles off to the bathroom holding his behind like he’s having some kind of “problem” and mends his pants with the tape.  The show goes on!

Come to the following location:

number one broadway flyer

Fri. 1-18-13  Number One Broadway   102 B. S Santa Cruz Ave, Los Gatos, CA 95030   9:30pm-1:30am

 and find out what might break / rip / come open this time.

Modestly yours,

Will, Bobby, Mark, & Renée

* To be fair to Will, the last time this happened to him was . . . well . . . let’s see . . .  never!

 


12-29
Practice makes perfect

Would you run in the Boston Marathon by just showing up on the day of the race?  Would you?  Of course not!   Don’t be silly!  Why, you’d train and prepare yourself.

Would you decide to learn a musical instrument, and then just book a gig at the Mountian Winery and go there to perform  the same day you went to pick up your new guitar / zither / pan flute / whatever the heck instrument it is that you want to learn?  Why, that’d be cray-zee!  You would never do such a kooky thing!  You’ve got more sense than that!  You’d practice and properly prepare yourself.

 . . .  and yet . . .

We know that many of you are planning to go out on New Year’s Eve.

Listen, we’re professionals; we see this all the time.  Some poor gal or guy who doesn’t regularly go out a-drinkin’, goes out on New Year’s eve – arguably one of the most drinkin’ nights of the year, and without preparation, practice, conditioning,  or skill, and has delusional hopes of keeping up with the liver damaged regulars in bars all across the land.  The consequences are terrifying and awe inspiring.  We’ve seen (and we’re not making this up) people pass out in the middle of the dance floor, fall asleep in the restrooms (eew!), and get such a bad case of beer goggles that they don’t even wait ‘till they get home with Mr./Ms. Wrong – they just have sex in the middle of the street*.

Our point is this: all of the awful scenarios you just read about can be avoided if you give yourself the conditioning needed to successfully navigate New Year’s.

Come out and get yourself in Proper Shape:

Number One Broadway Poster

Sat. 12-29-12   Number One Broadway   102 B. S Santa Cruz Ave, Los Gatos, CA 95030   9:30pm-1:30am

Remember: What happens on New Year’s Eve doesn’t stay on New Year’s Eve, it goes on Facebook.

 

You’re welcome,

Renée, Will, Bobby, & Mark

*Honest – it happened in S.F.

 

12-22 = = = = = =
Get your new Mayan Calendar!

Yep, that’s right boys and girls: That trusty Mayan calendar that you’ve had hanging on your refrigerator, or on the bulletin board over your desk¹ for the last several thousand years is just about to run out.  Don’t be the only one in your neighborhood who’s unable to mark down all those important dates that you don’t want to forget for the next several thousand years.  To get your brand spanking new Mayan calendar, hurry down to the following location:

Main Street flyer

Sat. 12-22-12   Main St. Brewery  830 Main Street Pleasanton, CA 94566   9:00pm -12:00am

and pick up another one for your very own.²

Mark, Renée, Will, & Bobby

1 Right next to that other calendar of those adorable kittens!

2 Supplies limited. Calendars hewn in stone by slaves vanquished in battle: expect several hundred year delay for delivery.  Extra charges will apply.

 

 

12-8 = = = = = =
Look up the number

Why do you suppose it is that people still try calling 867-53 oh ni-ee-ine and asking for Jenny², but nobody calls PEnnsylvania 6-5000.  

If they did, they could ask whoever answers if they have Prince Albert in a can.

Don’t call us – show up on our doorstep:

maggies flyer

12-8-12   Maggie McGarry's   1353 Grant Street, San Francisco CA   10:00pm-1:30am

We won’t phone it in,

Bobby, Mark, Renée, & Will

 

11-9 = = = = = =
Free music

Would like some free music?  Go to iTunes and enter the following promotional code:

98P02L53 W 61S7

You won’t actually get anything, because that number is made up. In fact, knowing Apple, they’ll probably send someone over to your house and beat you with branches for trying to get $1.29 over on them.

. . . or . . .

You could come to

main stree and number one flyer

Fri. 11-9-12   Main St. Brewery  830 Main Street Pleasanton, CA 94566   9:00pm -12:00am
Sat. 11-10-12   Number One Broadway   102 B. S Santa Cruz Ave, Los Gatos, CA 95030   9:30pm-1:30am

and get way more music than iTunes will give you.

Downloading-ly yours,

Will, Bobby, Mark, & Renée

 

 

10-26 = = = = = =
A scary story for Halloween

Once upon a time there was a couple who heard that the Cocktail Monkeys were playing two Halloween costume parties.  One was at the Mountain Winery* this Friday, the other was on the U.S.S. Hornet this Saturday.  They decided not to go to either party.  Then the operator said, “Get out! It’s coming from inside the house!” And when they got out of the car there was a hook hanging on the door!  So when they went back to the cemetery they found the sweater they had lent her the night before!

 

But you want to hear the scariest part?

 

They both missed out on a real fun time!

 

We don’t know about you, but missing out on fun is one of the scariest things we can think of.

Learn a lesson from this scary tale, and don’t end up like that doomed couple.

Mountain Winery flyer Hornet flyer

10-26-12  Mountain Winery Singles Halloween Bash  14831 Pierce Road, Saratoga, CA  7:00-11:00
10-27-12   Monster Bash   USS Hornet   Alameda, CA   8:00p- 1:00a (we perform from 8:00-10:00)

ooooooOOOOOOoooooo,

Mark, Renée, Will, & Bobby

*Which if that place isn’t a haunted winery, we don’t know what is.  Sure looks haunted to us.

 

10-13 = = = = = =
We’re back baby!

Miss us?

They say: “absence makes the heart grow fonder”.

So maybe you should come out to hear us this Saturday.

Of course, they also say: “out of sight out of mind”.

So maybe you shouldn’t.

They also say: “nothing ventured, nothing gained”.

So maybe you really should come out to hear us this Saturday.

Of course, they also say: “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”.

So maybe you shouldn’t.
It’s becoming apparent that this question can’t be solved with sayings.

Perhaps, there’s only one adage to apply to this situation:

You can lead a gift horse to water but you can’t look in its mouth.

number one flyer

Sat. 10-13-12   Number One Broadway   102 B. S Santa Cruz Ave, Los Gatos, CA 95030   9:30pm-1:30am

Proverb-ly yours,

Bobby, Mark, Renée, & Will

 

 

9-7 = = = = = =
Last gas for 200 miles

We’re not sure how long it’s been since we’ve done this, but we’re taking over a month off.  Our last performance will be this Friday.  What will we be doing during our break?  In a nutshell:

  • Bobby will be traveling through mostly Italy.
  • Mark is inclined to watch a lot of football.
  • Renée won’t change her hair.*
  • Will was thinking of eating lots of ice cream.

 

Our next show won’t be until October 13th!  So, if you want to hear us again before the seasons change, you’ll need to come out to:

Brisbane flyer

9-7-12  Brisbane Concert series   11 Old Country Rd. Brisbane CA 94005   5:45pm – 8:30pm

Until we meet again,

Will, Bobby, Mark, & Renée

 

*probably.  She cut and changed the color again (yes, since last week’s shows).  Now it’s too short to really do anything else to – unless she’s going to go all Sinead O’connor on us (unlikely).

 

8-31 = = = = = =
If a band plays in the forest . . .

. . . and there’s no one around to hear them, do they really make a sound?

It happens to every band; you get hired for a show you shouldn’t have been hired for, and no one wants to hear you.  It’s certainly happened to us.  There was this one time (at band camp) . . .

We were hired to play a party outside.  We’re sure the person who hired us thought having a band would be great, but when it actually came time for the party, what the people really wanted to do was visit.  Besides which, it was starting to get a little chilly outside.  So when we started playing, everyone (and we literally mean everyone) went inside. 

Now, we went into this party thinking it would be a big dance fest, and wrote our set list accordingly.  It’s one thing to play “Shout” to a crown of drunken, crazy dancers.  It’s quite another to play it to no one.  So, when we lost the crowd,¹ we decided to discard the set list we wrote.  That left us with the problem of what to replace it with.²  There we are, standing in a rather large backyard that is completely devoid of people except for us, and Will suggested, “Why don’t we play all the songs on our CD?”  To which Bobby replied, “Yeah. Maybe we’ll sell some!”

Come out this weekend to see if anybody comes out to see us – which if you came out to see if anyone came to to see us, you’d be coming out to see us, and that would mean that somebody came out to see us.  Whoa dude!

main street and number one flyer

Fri. 8-31-12   Number One Broadway   102 B. S Santa Cruz Ave, Los Gatos, CA 95030   9:30pm-1:30am
Sat. 9-1-12   Main St. Brewery   Main St. Brewery   830 Main Street Pleasanton, CA 94566   9:00pm -12:00am

Popularly yours,

Renée, Will, Bobby, & Mark

 

  • To paraphrase Bobcat Goldthwait: we didn’t really loose them, we know where they were.
  • We always Joke that our set lists are like the Pirate’s Code in that “they’re more like guidelines than actual rules.” anyway.

 

8-26 = = = = = =
A message from Snoop Dog:

Thizzle Cocktizzle Monkeezy be perfizzle at an excitiggity plizzle thizzle wizzle: Thizzle Palo Alto Fesitigity of thizzle Arts. Thizzle musizzle stizzle at tizzle in the mizzle and ends at nizzle. Thizzle riealiggy hopizzle you can comizzle out and lizzle to thizzle!*

(translation:)
The Cocktail Monkeys are performing at an exciting place this week:  The Palo Alto Festival of the Arts.  The music starts at ten in the morning and ends at noon.  They really hope you can come out and listen to them.

palo alto flyer

8-26-12   Palo Alto Festival of the Arts   Corner of Wavery & University   Palo Alto CA  10:00am – 12:00pm

Izzle izzle izzle,

Renizzle, Bobbizzle, Wizzle, & Mizzle

*with the help of http://www.writtenhumor.com/snooptranslator.html

 

8-18 = = = = = =
Did we get a new singer?

At the last couple of shows, we’ve been asked if we got a new singer.  Just to set the record straight: No; Renée cut and colored her hair.

Interestingly, people who thought that we did get a new singer were impressed that the new one sounded even better than the last one.

 

Come see Renée’s new and improved hair:

maggies flyer

8-18-12   Maggie McGarry's   1353 Grant Street, San Francisco CA   10:00pm-1:30am

The same ole’,

Bobby, Mark, Renée, & Will

 

 

8-11 = = = = = =
Apps – Pt. 2

In the wake of the popularity of Angry birds, we here at CMS (Cocktail Monkey Software © ®  ͭ ͫ  all rights reserved, patent pending) have come up with our own games you might enjoy:

Outraged Ostriches
OBJECT: to get cows to leave your beach by sticking them under the sand with your head

Furious Flamingos
OBJECT: to eliminate cows by hopping on them with only one foot

Livid Larks
OBJECT: to remove cows by singing them away (this game is really more like Rock Band than Angry Birds – only different)

Fuming Finches
OBJECT: to make cows sick with jealously by having the most beautiful plumage

Cross Cuckoos
OBJECT: to make cows insane by waking them up at one hour intervals every night

 

Come download these fine games at the following location:

fiesta de artes flyer

8/11/10 Fiesta de Artes  Los Gatos Town Center Grounds  Main Street   Los Gatos CA - 4:00pm -6:00pm

App-ealingly yours (we know; don’t quit our day jobs),

Will, Bobby, Mark, & Renée

PS Also, watch for the T-shirts

 

8-4 = = = = = =
County fair in the country sun

We’re doing something we’ve never done before – this Saturday we’re playing the Santa Clara County Fair!  Just think of it: the largest pig, the prettiest flower, the sweetest jar of jam, and a band to boot.  Now how much would you pay?  But wait, there’s more!  Because you are such a special, close personal friend of the band, we can get you and all of your family and friends discount tickets.  Please go to:

https://events.admitoneproducts.com?event_id=592412  

And enter the promotional code: cocktail

One last incentive – in two words:  full bar (it’s not your grandpa’s county fair)

So you can come hear us, eat some kind of artery closing food on a stick, see some kind of mutantly large examples of flora and / or fauna, ride some rides, and possibly expel the aforementioned cuisine.

If for some reason, you really want to hear us this week, but coming out Saturday just doesn’t work for you (maybe your aunt is coming from out of town), you could come hear us on Thursday at the Campbell Concert series.

Campbell Concert Series Poster Santa Clara County Fair Poster

8/2/12   Campbell Summer Concert Series   Orchard City Green  
Adjacent to the City Hall offices   70 N. 1st Street   Campbell, CA   6:30pm - 8:00pm

8/4/12   Santa Clara County Fair   344 Tully Rd.   San Jose, CA 95111   2:00pm - 3:30pm

 

Fairly yours,

Renée, Will, Bobby, & Mark

 

7-16-12

Text abbreviations

Ever since the dawn of the cellular phone (over thirty seven months ago!) and its accompanying text messaging, people have been finding simpler and simpler ways to communicate.  One example would be the text abbreviation.  Why? Well, because who has the time to type a whole 12 characters (laugh out loud) when you only have to type 3 (lol)?  What? Are people made out of spare time? 

The only problem with this whole abbreviation thing for text messaging is that it’s not suited for listening to live music.  Certainly, it’s good in the sense that you can text the person next to you instead of yelling in their ear.  But the current set of acronyms (IMHO, WTF?, etc,) don’t address the specific needs and situations one encounters when going out and listening to a band.  It is with this particular problem in mind that the Cocktail Monkeys have come up with the following series of text acronyms, which will help you better communicate while attending our shows: 

DYWTD
Do you want to dance? 

WDYWTD
What do you want to drink? 

ITTSIG
I think this song is great! 

IWTMTS
I want to meet the singer (or G for guitarist, B for bass player.  Never use D for drummer, because nobody in their right mind would ever want to meet the drummer) 

LPWTBATS
Let’s party with the band after the show. 

(The ladies will find this next one particularly useful) 

ITGTTCAFAIGTSHITEWAS
If that guy tries to cop a feel again, I’m going to stab him in the eye with a straw.

 

Come try out these new useful abbreviations at our next show:


Inline image 1

 

7-19-12   Mountian View Summer Concert Series   Questa Park   615 Cuesta Dr Mt View  CA 94043 6:30-8:00pm


Inline image 3

7-21-12   Maggie McGarry's   1353 Grant Street, San Francisco CA   10:00pm-1:30am

 

Abrvngly urs,

 

Mark, Renée, Will, & Bobby

 

*****************************************

5-11-12

Once y Docena de Mayo

Why stop on the 5th?

 

Because nothing better marks the anniversary of the Mexican army's unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla in 1862¹ than coming out to hear the whitest band ever ² six or seven days after the actual date.


Inline image 1  Inline image 2

 

Fri. 5-11-12   Number One Broadway   102 B. S Santa Cruz Ave, Los Gatos, CA 95030   9:30p-1:30a

Sat. 5-12-12   Main St. Brewery   Main St. Brewery   830 Main Street Pleasanton, CA 94566   9:00p-12:00a

 

Hasta la vodka baby,

 

Renée, Will, Bobby, & Mark

 

¹ Isn’t Wikipedia just the best?

² We don’t even play La Bamba for crissake!

 

 

*****************************************

4-13-12

Warning:

Come out and hear the Cocktail Monkeys this Saturday.*

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Void in Puerto Rico, Guam, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and Fresno.

   Cash value: 1/100th cent.

   Offer expires April 29th, 2012, 1:29am

   Side effects may include: exhilaration, irrational euphoria, increased sexual activity, and blurred vision.

   Pregnant women and / or people with heart conditions should not ride.

   Do not operate Cocktail Monkeys around open flame.

   Discontinue use of Cocktail Monkeys in the event of alcohol poisoning.

 

 

No animals were harmed in the making of this flyer.


Inline image 1

 

4/28/12   Maggie McGarry's   1353 Grant Street, San Francisco CA   10:00p-1:30a

 

Warningly yours,

 

Mark, Renée, Will, & Bobby

 

*****************************************

 

4-13-12

The pledge of allegiance

Please stand. 

 

Face the speakers. 

 

Gentlemen, please remove your hats. 

 

Ladies, please hike up your skirts. 

 

Put your hand over your drinks. 

 

Ready?  

 

Begin!

 

 

I pledge allegiance to the band

Of the Cocktail Monkeys of Northern California

And to the Music

For which they play

One party

Under the influence

With happiness and dancing for all


Inline image 1    Inline image 2

4/13/12  Mountain Winery Singles Event  14831 Pierce Road, Saratoga, CA  7:00-11:00

4/14/11   Half Moon Bay Brewing    390 Capistrano Rd, Half Moon Bay, CA 94019   7:00p-10:00p 

Patriotically yours, 

Will, Bobby, Mark, & Renée

 

*****************************************

3-30-12

Who likes Santa Cruz?

For those of you who already have plans for Saturday, we’re plying at the Main St. Brewery in Pleasanton on Friday.  It’s a very nice place – actually one of our favorite places – no s**t. 

But for those of you who don’t have plans for Saturday and looking for something a little different . . . Well, you have plans now. 

We will be performing at a new venue for us: The Crow’s Nest in Santa Cruz. 

We’ve never played a club in Santa Cruz before.  We did play on the beach once (literally on the beach.  We all got sand in our underwear and met a soap opera star).  Then there was this other time we played the Coconut Grove (that story is too bent and weird to explain here).  Playing in a club though . . . that’s another matter.  

So there we’ll be, in a club Santa Cruz, for the first time.  It’s always good - and we really appreciate it - if our friends can come out and support us when it’s a new place.  Why (you ask)?  Because we’ll be far from home and far from sober.  We might not know anybody.  We might be surrounded by complete strangers. What if they’re not nice to us?  What if they’re meanies?  What if they want to poke us with pieces of driftwood?  

Now we’re scared.  Will you come hold our hands and make it all better?


Inline image 1      Inline image 2

Fri. 3/30/12   Main St. Brewery   Main St. Brewery   830 Main Street Pleasanton, CA 94566   9:00p-12:00a 

Sat. 3/31/12   Crow's Nest   2218 East Cliff Drive Santa Cruz 95062   9:00p-12:00a

 

Anxiously yours, 

Renée, Will, Bobby, & Mark

 

*****************************************

3-23-12

Dear Miss Lonely Harts:
I am a nice, attractive woman who is over 21 who just can’t seem to find the right guy.  Any ideas? 

- Wants To Meet a Man 

 

Dear Wants To Meet a Man:
I know what to do.  Come to the Mountain Winery Singles Event  on Friday night.  There you will meet the man of your dreams.  It’s only $20, and you’ll get a chance to win a Bottle of Mountain Winery Reserve Wine. 

 

Dear Miss Lonely Harts:
I am a nice, attractive man who’s over 21 who just can’t seem to find the right gal.  What should I do? 

-Wants To Meet a Woman 

 

Dear Wants To Meet a Woman:
I know what to do.  Come to the Mountain Winery Singles Event on Friday night.  There you will meet the woman of your dreams.  There’s plenty of free parking. 

 

Dear Miss Lonely Harts:
We’re already a couple, but it’s beautiful up at the Mountain Winery, and we’d like to hear the Cocktail Monkeys.  Could we go anyway? 

-Wants To Go Anyway 

 

Dear Wants To Go Anyway:
I know what to do.  Go anyway.  Walk in separately.  Pretend to not know each other.  Then meet each other and act out a wild fantasy about taking a stranger home and doing it like rabid lemurs in every room of the house just like in that movie.

Inline image 1

 3/23/12  Mountain Winery Singles Event  14831 Pierce Road, Saratoga, CA  7:00-11:00 

Sincerely, 

Mark, Renée, Will, & Bobby

*****************************************

3-2-12

A fun puzzle for you

We were all reading the current issue of Highlights when we came to our favorite part where there are two pictures and you have to find all the differences between the two.  Well, that gave us an idea for a fun flyer.  So, to keep your mind sharp, we're offering the same sort of puzzle - Cocktail Monkeys Style. 

 

Ready?

 

 

Here's picture #1:

 Inline image 1

  

 Alright, ready for the next one?

 

 

 

 

 Here's picture #2

Inline image 3

 

 

Find 2,104,357 differences, write them all down, and bring them to

Inline image 1

 3/2/12   Number One Broadway    102 B. South Santa Cruz Ave.   Los Gatos, CA 95030  9:30p-1:30a 

The person who can find the most wins one free drink. (must be present to win!) 

Good luck, 

Mark, Renee, Will, & Bobby

 

*****************************************

2-17-12 #2

We didn’t really mean the last e-mail

We thought that by now, all our friends and acquaintances who receive these e-mails would know that with theexception of the dates, times, and location of the gigs, the rest of the e-mail is complete gibberish, designed to amuse us and entertained you. 

Well! 

Apparently the last one we sent set off a panic like H.G. Wells’ War of the Worlds.  If you thought Salmon Rushdie got into trouble . . . A number of people got dangerously excited.  We got requests to take names offthe mailing list.  We even got a hate e-mail.  

So much for all that; the point is that we are not changing anything about our band

We are not wearing leather pants (well, Mark does have a pair). 

We are not wearing mascara (well, Bobby maybe). 

O.K. Definitely no dog collars! 

We will be playing the same songs in the same style that we always have. 

2/17/12   Maggie McGarry's   1353 Grant Street, San Francisco CA   10:00p-1:30a

2/21/12   Nola's   535 Ramona St   Palo Alto, CA   (650)-328-2722    7:00p-12:00a 

Sorry about the confusion, 

Bobby, Mark, Renée, & Will

*****************************************

2-17-12

A new artistic direction for the Cocktail Monkeys

We've decided to take the band in a slightly harder direction,

 

so without further ado, 

 

 

 

we are proud to present: 

 

 The Cöcktäil Mönkëy Skulls öf Deäth! 

That's right boys and girls, no more of that namby pamby sissy-fied stuff.  From now on, it's leather pants, mascara, and

Rock!

We will perform some of your favorite songs with a new heavy metal edge such as:

 

Shout (at the skulls)

Lving on a Prayer (of death)

Shook the skulls All Night Long

Raise Your Glass (to the Skulls)

I've Got a Feeling (or Death)

Funky Skull Music

Sweet Home Alabama (of death)

Love Skull Shack of Death

 

And our next hit single:

 

Death Skulls of Death

 

 

. . . or we could just do it like we always have (which honestly, is what Renée is leaning towards anyway - although she has no problem with the mascara).

 

 Maggies 2-17-12 small.jpg  Nolas 2-21-12 small.jpg

 

2/17/12   Maggie McGarry's   1353 Grant Street, San Francisco CA   10:00p-1:30a

2/21/12   Nola's   535 Ramona St   Palo Alto, CA   (650)-328-2722    7:00p-1:00a

 

Cöme ön öut änd hëar üs,

 

Will, Bobby, Mark, & Renée

 

*****************************************

 

*****************************************

11-21-10

Haiku

We play at Main Street

We’re going to rock our guts out

Dance to the music

 

 = = = = = =

 

We’re in Pleasanton

Do not pass out on Matt’s bar

Come shake your groove thing

 

= = = = = =

 

Haiku can be fun

But sometimes it won’t make sense

Refrigerator ¹

 

Main Street Brewery flyer

 

11/27/10   Main St. Brewery   830 Main Street   Pleasanton, CA 94566   9:00p-12:00a 

Love, 

Mark, Renée, Will, & Bobby
Cocktail Monkeys Group Pic

 

¹ We didn’t write that one, we saw it on a t shirt.

 

 

*****************************************

11-8-10

Complete the lyric quiz:

In our ongoing effort to keep your musical knowledge sharp, the Cocktail Monkeys have developed the following quiz to test how well you know lyrics:  Take the following quiz: 

1)        

There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold

And she’s buying . . . 

a. some dumb crap on Craig’s List

b. some glittery stuff she thinks is gold

c. a pallet of T.P. at Costco

d. a coffee at Starbucks

 

2)

Imagine there’s no heaven

It’s easy if you try

No hell below us

Above us only . . .

 

a. a stairway to heaven

b. a thinning ozone layer

c. a ceiling 'cause we're indoors

d. pie

 

3)

Deep down in Louisiana close to New Orleans

Way back up in the woods among the evergreens

There stood a log cabin made of earth and wood

Where lived a country boy named . . .

 

a. Richard Milhous Nixon

b. Sue

c. Sioux

d. Big Bad John

 

4)

When I find myself in times of trouble

Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom . . .

 

a. Never bet on an inside straight

b. Your zipper's undone

c. PUT THAT DOWN THIS INSTANT!

D. Watch that first step

 

If you answered a, b ,c. or d to the questions above, CONGRATULATIONS!  You just won a no-expense paid trip to both of the following locations to hear the Cocktail Monkeys:

 

Number One Broadway flyer     Johnny Foleys flyer

 

11/12/10  Broadway  102 B. South Santa Cruz Ave.  Los Gatos, CA 95030  9:30p-1:30a 

11/13/10  Johnny Foley's  243 O'Farrell Street  San Francisco, CA 94102  10:00p-1:30a

 

 

Love,

 

Bobby, Mark, Renée, & Will

Cocktaik Monkeys Group Pic

 

 

*****************************************

10-25-10

We know some of you were wondering

We won't hold you in suspense . . . we failed spectacularly. 

But . . . 

It was more than worth it for four reasons: 

REASON ONE: We had so much fun.  On the way down we each had to fill out rather lengthy applications / questionnaires.  We were all sharing our different answers to all the questions like: “Who were your influences?” and “Why did you start performing?” (we think Bobby wrote down: The Rolling Stones to all the questions – even his address and date of birth).  One of the questions was: “Who are your personal heroes?”  Will said “My hero was my high school chemistry teacher who said something to me I’ll never forget” to which Mark replied “Yeah, he said ‘Sit down and shut up!’”.

      When we finally got there, the process was rather daunting.  We would stand in line and be taken to a room (each room was bigger than the one before) where we would fill out more paperwork / answer more questions.  We finally got to the very last doors – which were the biggest doors so far.  While we were waiting outside for our turn, Mark said: “We’re going to audition for the Wizard of OZ!”  Finally it was our turn.  We walked in to one of the biggest, most opulent ballrooms we have ever seen.*  The only thing in the room were three judges sitting behind a table.  They asked us who we were and what we were going to do for them (we played a 90 second version of “What I like About You” – ‘cause those were the rules).  We rocked it out as well as we ever have, but by the end we could tell we weren’t what they were looking for.  Right at that moment, it seemed like it had been a long way to have come for all that; as we were walking out, Mark mumbled under his breath “Maybe they should call the show America’s got a Lot of Nerve”. 

      Anyway, after that we met up with friends of ours in L.A., had a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat, went to sleep and didn’t get up until the next morning when we all had to come home.  It truly was a great experience.  

REASON TWO: Now we know.  We all agree that we would have rather done this and failed than not done it and wondered all our lives what would have happened. 

REASON THREE: That’s show biz.  You get told “no” a lot more times than you get told “yes” in this business (the Beatles were turned down by every record company in England). 

REASON FOUR: You never know.  Maybe our audition will be rescued out of the trash can.  Or, this wouldn’t be the first time we did something like this, and afterward someone pulled us aside and said:” Well, we don’t want you for this, but there is this other thing we’d like you for . . .” 

So much for all that.  We have sincerely appreciated all the support encouragement we have gotten since this ordeal began.  We look forward to seeing you at the next gig (which we’ll tell you about in our next e-mail) now that we have returned to our regular routine. 

Love, 

Will, Bobby, Mark, & Renée 

*Oh yeah, did we mention the auditions were being held in the same hotel where the Academy Awards were held for the first fifty years?

 

 

*****************************************

10-22-10

We’re not playing any bars or clubs this weekend

So you might be wondering why we are sending you an e-mail.

 

Well . . . funny story actually . . .

 

(We know a few of you have already heard this one before):
 
  A while back, Renee was surfing the web and came across a website that was accepting submissions for a "talent contest".  Thinking we had nothing to loose, she submitted an application for The Cocktail Monkeys.  It turned out that the "talent contest" was America's Got Talent.  They were impressed enough with our submission that they have invited us to audition for the show.  The audition is this Sunday in L.A. at 5:45pm.
 
So, we’re asking all of you to send your good thoughts our way Sunday afternoon; we figure we can use all the help we can get.  We’ll let everyone know what happened as soon as we know what happened.
 
We have appreciated all of your support in the past, and we truly appreciate it now,

Group Pic of Cocktail Monkeys

Renée, Will, Bobby, & Mark

 

 

*****************************************

10-11-10

The Cocktail Monkeys CD release party

Drum roll please:

 

Ladies and Gentlemen . . .

 

THE DEBUT CD FROM THE COCKTAIL MONKEYS HAS ARRIVED!!

 

That’s right boys and girls, the new phone books are here!  Last July, we got up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across our head, went into the studio, actually played some songs, and now the fruits and vegetables of our labors exists in a form you can hold in your hot little hands.  Yes, it’s a real honest to goodness CD. 

 

The CD contains the following music:

 

  1. Backbeat

 

But wait, there’s more! In addition to all that, the CD contains the following bonus tracks:

 

Black Velvet (Trail mix)

Chain of Fools (Cake mix)

Mercy (Tom mix)

Magic Man (Checks mix)

Dancing in the Streets (Brownie mix)

Rock Me Right (Stuh mix)

 

Now, we know what you’re saying: “Where, oh where, can I get one of these fine items?”  Well, we’re glad you asked.  You can acquire one (or more) of these top quality digital objects at our CD release party.  Normally, the CD’s will be sold for $10.00, but for those of you who come to our CD release party, the cost will only be $5.00.  This is definitely a one night offer.  So, we’re hoping all you who have been asking us “do you have a CD?” all these years will come on out.

 

As if that weren’t enough, Friday we’ll be performing at Maggie McGarry’s on Friday and at the Half Moon Bay Pumpkin Festival on Sunday.  That gives you more choices – in case you don’t particularly care for level ground, or if you just really dig pumpkins, you could hear us on Sunday instead.

 

Maggie McGarry's Flyer    MainStreet Brewery's  Flyer  Half Moon Bay flyer

 

10/15/10 Maggie McGarry's, 1353 Grant Street, Between Vallejo & Green, North Beach, San Francisco - 10:00p-1:30a 

10/16/10   Main St. Brewery   CD Release Party!!!!   830 Main Street, Pleasanton, CA 94566   9:00p-12:00a 

10/17/10   Half Moon Bay Pumpkin Festival   Half Moon Bay CA   10:00a-11:30a 

Love,

 

Renée, Will, Bobby, & Mark

Group Pic of Cocktail Monkeys

 

 

 

*****************************************

9-28-10

Many different C-Monkey shows this weekend

This Friday, we’ll be playing at  the Saint Francis Cabrini Fiesta.  We said it last year, we’ll say it again next year, we’re going to say it now - One word why you should come to this show (hint: not to hear us – if for no other reason, that’s more than one word).  O.K., Ready for the one word: margaritas!  They make the best margaritas at this festival.  Our favorite part is the shot of Grand Marnier they add.  It just puts the whole thing over the top.  Mmmmmmm!    
 
On Sunday, we’re playing the Rock & Roll Half Marathon.  The reason you want to hear that show is that  (A) it’s during the day – so that’s different, plus is good for families, (2) It’s actually kind of fun watching the racers – especially the Kenyan guys right at the beginning, and (III) Sometimes we pull out a song we usually don’t play.
 
Saturday however is something different:
 
Last year, we were asked by the family of Lindsay Kessler to perform at a benefit to help with the medical expenses she incurred treating her brain cancer.  It was really moving for us to watch an entire community rally around Lindsay, and we were honored to have been asked be a part of it.  Although Lindsay was unable to overcome her brain cancer, her family has decided make this an annual benefit to raise money for cancer treatment for other people who could use the help.  Again we have been asked to participate, and again we are honored to be included.  The price of admission is $30, but besides hearing us (we might even be playing some songs we rarely – or never - play), there’s good food, and a raffle for a lot of great items.  We think it’s a wonderful way to remember a family member and to help with a good cause.  We hope you can come. Please call in advance for tickets.

  St. Francis Cabrini Fiesta 2010 flyer                          Kessler Fundraiser Flyer


 
10/01/10 St. Francis Cabrini Fiesta, 15333 Woodard Road, San Jose, CA TBD 7:00-10:00pm
10/02/09 Kessler Fundraiser, Transfiguration Church, 4000 E. Castro Valley Blvd, Castro Valley, CA 6:30 – 9:30
10/03/10 Rock & Roll Half Marathon, 1654 The Alameda, San Jose, CA 8:30 – 11:00
 
Love,
Mark, Renée, Will, & Bobby
 
P.S. In case any of you were wondering, the answer to last weeks e-mail was: Mary

 

 

 

*****************************************

9-21-10

A quiz

In the interest of promoting your cerebral health, the Cocktail Monkeys thought we’d pass along this little brain teaser that was sent to us:

 

 

Ahem . . .

 

 

Mary's father has five daughters:

 

Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,  4. Nono, and  . . . ?

 

What is the name of the fifth daughter?

 

If you answered Nunu, we’re afraid you were incorrect.  To get the correct answer – or to brag about how smart you are - you’ll have to come to:

 

Number one Broadway flyer

 

9/25/10 Broadway 102 B. South Santa Cruz Ave., Los Gatos, CA 95030 408-354-4303  9:30p-1:30a

 

Love,

 

Bobby, Mark, Renée, & Will

Cocktail Monkeys Group pic

 

 

******************************************

9-14-10

A healthy Cocktail Monkeys

This Saturday we’ll be performing at Whole Foods in celebration of their 30th anniversary.  In honor of this occasion, we thought we’d forgo our usually unhealthy, copious quantities of distilled and fermented beverage content and perform more in the spirit (no pun intended) of Whole Foods.

 

So with an attitude towards good health, the Cocktail Monkeys will be making the following modifications to some of our songs:

 

Living on a Prayer

(no MSG)

 

Should I Stay or Should I Go

(free range)

 

Brown Eyed Girl

(organic)

 

Play That Funky Music

(locally grown)

 

What I Like About You

(sulfide free)

 

Alright Now

(no pesticides)

 

Come enjoy these healthy alternatives to the regular high calorie, low nutritional value songs.

Whole Foods flyer

 

9/18/10 Whole Foods 1690 S. Bascom Ave Campbell CA 11:00a-2:00p

 

Love,

Will, Bobby, Mark, & Renée

 

 

 

*************************************

9-11-10

Our performance this weekend . . .

 . . . is this Saturday from 1:10 to 2:30 at Troopfest for Operation Care and Comfort.  They are a non-political, non-profit organization supporting troops overseas and military families.  To learn more about it than we could ever tell you, go to:
 
  www.troopfest.org

 

TroopfestPoster

 

 
  Come on out.  It's for a good cause, there's lots of other entertainment, it's supposed to be a great day to be outside. 
 
  We hope to see you there,

 

Renée, Will, Bobby, & Mark

 

 

********************************

8-26-10

Our drummer had the weirdest dream.

He tells it this way (and he insists he did not make this up): 

I dreamed I was in a Hollywood movie . . . and I was the star of the . . . sorry; I couldn’t help it . . . 

I dreamed I was in charge of the sound system for Mick Jagger.  We were at the ocean, and he had me set up all the equipment in these high rocks.  Then, as I ran the sound equipment, Mick performed two songs to a passing train that was running down the beach.  Afterwards, Mick’s people climbed up to me and started complaining about how the sound wasn’t very good, and I replied: “Hey! It’s your equipment!”  Then they left – grousing about the poor sound quality all the way.  As they were walking away down the beach – still griping – I thought to myself: You know what?  Next year, I’m just going to have the Cocktail Monkeys do the gig! 

Come discuss dream symbolism with Will at the following location:

 Palo Alto Festival Flyer

 8/29/10 Palo Alto Festival, University Avenue, Palo Alto, 10:30a - 12:30a

Love, 

Mark, Renée, Will, & Bobby

1

 

 

 

*****************************************************

8-16-10

The following conversation took place between Will and Renée:

(Interior, night)

WILL:
Hey! We’re playing Pleasanton both nights this weekend, right?

RENÉE:
Yeah, so?

WILL:
Hmmmmmm, maybe that wasn’t such a good Idea.

RENÉE:
Why would you say that?

WILL:
Well, I was thinkin’: We’re a pretty fun band to hear, but we’re not that fun to hear.  I mean, If you came out to hear us on Friday, your probably not want to hear us again so soon on Saturday.  Or, if you knew you were going on Saturday, you would probably skip Friday.  Maybe we should have scheduled these two gigs a few weeks apart.  That way when we played on Friday, we could have announced to everyone we’d be back in a few weeks, and everyone would want to come hear us again by then.

RENÉE:
Oh, Will!  Silly old drummer!

WILL:
What?!?

RENÉE:
How many songs do the Cocktail Monkeys know?

WILL:
We have about six or so hours of material.

RENÉE:
How long are we playing on Friday?

WILL:
An hour and a half.

RENÉE:
How long are we playing on Saturday?

WILL:
About three hours?

RENÉE:
How’s you math?

WILL:
What?

RENÉE:
That’s only four and a half hours of playing total.  We’ve got six hours of material.  We wouldn’t have to play any of the same songs if we didn’t want to.

(and . . . . . . scene!)

So, for those of you who were thinking that two nights of C-Monkeys would be one night too many: fugitaboutit.  Our pledge to you is that our sets on the two nights will be like snowflakes; no two alike*.

That means we’ll be expecting y’all all weekend.

1 1

8/20/10 Pleasanton Concert in the Park, Downtown Pleasanton 7:00p-8:30p

8/21/10 Main St. Brewery, 830 Main Street, Pleasanton, CA 94566 9:00p-12:00a

Love,

Bobby, Mark, Renée, & Will

Band Photo

*Of course there’ll probably be a few songs that get played both nights, ‘cause they’re so darned popular.  But that’ll be O.K. because those are the songs you like so much!

 

*****************************************************

8-2-10

Soon to be a major motion picture!

(Deep narrator’s voice:) 

The forces of evil, greed, and boredom thought they could get away with it.  There was just one thing they hadn’t counted on . . .

(Fanfare)

THE COCKTAIL MONKEYS!

Starring:

Bruce Willis as Mark St. John! (“Yippee-ki-yay, Stratocaster!”) 

Al Pachino as Bobby A.C.! (“Will, you're my drummer, and I love you, but don't ever take sides with anyone against the band again. Ever.”)

Renée Zellweger as Renée! (“You had me at ‘1-2-3-4’ ”)

Christopher Walken as Will Diamond! (“I need more caoubell!”)

Now playing!  For show times and locations, see below:

111

8/5/10 - Campbell Summer Concert Series, 70 N. First Street, Campbell, CA - 6:30pm - 8:00pm

8/6/10 - Maggie McGarry's, 1353 Grant Street, San Francisco CA - 10:00pm -1:30am 

8/7/10 - Fiesta de Artes, Los Gatos Town Center Grounds, Main Street, Los Gatos CA - 4:00pm -6:00pm

Love,

Will, Bobby, Mark, & Renée

 1

 

*****************************************************

7-29-10

We’ve never sent out two notices for the same show before, but this show is special:

 

Saturday, July 31st.

Number One Broadway

102 South Santa Cruz Avenue, Los Gatos, CA 95030-6708

9:30-1:30

1

If you were thinking of going out this Saturday, come to our show.  Bring a friend (expose someone new to the Cocktail Monkeys¹).

 

Love, and thanks again (and we promise it will be a while before we send out two e-mails in one week again),

 

Renée, Will, Bobby, & Mark

 

 1

 ¹ That makes us sound like we’re some sort of disease.  That’s not what we meant; you know what we mean.

 

*****************************************************

 

7-27-10

Not our usually unusual notice

This one will be unusually usual instead 

There are no venues in the south bay that we play – which is a drag if you live in the south bay. 

There’s a place called Number One Broadway, but they don’t let Bands Like Us play there.¹  Through circumstances too horribly twisted to explain here, they’re giving us a chance.  But in order for this to work, we’re going to need your help.  Not to put too fine a point on it, if you were planning on coming out to hear us any time in the near future, it needs to be this Saturday.  It would be great if you came out to hear us.  It would be even greater if you could bring a friend.  The bad news is that the cover will be $5.  The good news is that we usually put on a $10 show – so it's like you’ll be making $5!²   

If enough of y’all can come out this Saturday, it’ll be a win-win-win: the club will make money (you doing your part to stimulate the economy – heck! It’s patriotic!), we’ll have another nice venue to perform in, and – most importantly – all of you who live in the south bay will have a nice place to hear us that’s just a hop, skip, and a jump from your homes. 

x

7/31/10 - Number One Broadway, 102 South Santa Cruz Avenue, Los Gatos - 9:30-1:30

 So, to paraphrase Bluto Blutarsky: “Who’s with us?”

 Love, and thanks,

Mark, Renée, Will, & Bobby

 x

¹We’re not making that up.  We’ll explain when we see you.

² Old Steve Martin joke.

*****************************************************

7-19-10

Mark is amazing! 

Let us tell you how this usually goes: 

Your average band will have a sound person.  For those of you who don’t know they’re the person who Takes Care Of The Sound for a band.  While the band is playing, if someone is too loud, the sound person will turn them down.  If someone isn’t loud enough, the sound person will turn them up.  The most important job a sound person has though, is to eliminate feed back; the really awful sound you hear sometimes when a microphone accidently gets too close to a speaker.  Typaccaly it will be that piercing “heeeeeeeeeeee” sound that makes you bleed from your ears, or that really low “WHUUUUUUUUUUUUH” sound that begins to liquefy your internal organs. 

That’s how your average band does it.  We do it a little bit differently . . . 

Mark is the guy responsible for how good we sound.  He’s really good at it.  Let us tell you how good: 

We were playing this show a week or so ago.  Normally we get to do a sound check.  That’s when we find out if we have any feedback problems.  This time though, we could not have a sound check (a wedding was taking place in the next room).  So, when we started, of course not only did we have wicked feedback, but we had both kinds.   

At the same time. 

During the first song. 

As we played the feedback got louder and louder.  It looked like disaster. 

But look up in the sky! Is it a bird?  Is it a plane?  No, it’s Mark!   

Mark was able to eliminate all the feedback. 

With one hand. 

While playing. 

The Cocktail Monkeys went from being about 30 seconds away from ruining the wedding to being the heroes – as usual.   

And it was all because of Mark. 

Thank you Mark! 

If you watch very carefully, you can see Mark do that voodoo that he do so well this Saturday at: 

7/24/10 Johnny Foley's, 243 O'Farrell Street, San Francisco - 10:00p-1:30a

 

Love,

Bobby, Mark, Renée, & Will

***************************************************************

7-8-10

And the hits just keep on coming 

This week we have a festival – and something completely different. 

Festivals are always a nice change of pace: you get to be out in the sun, you get to walk around and drink*, and after you hear us, it’s still early enough to go do something else.  That will be on Sunday. 

Friday however, will be rather unusual.  We’ll be playing at a place called St. James Gate.  Here’s the crazy part:  we’re only playing two thirty minute sets (we believe there will be another band playing when we’re not).  So here’s what’s cool about coming to this gig:  it will only be the best of the best C-Monkey songs, you can hear a whole other band, and if you don’t like the other band, you can actually hang out and visit with us ‘cause our break’s going to be really really long (you know – while that other band is playing). 

To tell the truth, the Friday show will be an “audition”; for the Powers That Be to decide if we’re good enough for their bar.  So a show of support would be sincerely appreciated. 

This Weekend:

x x

7/9/10 St. James Gate, 1410 Old County Road, Belmont - 10:30p - 11:00p & 12:00a - 1:00a

7/11/10 Los Altos Art & Wine Festival, Los Altos - 2:00p-6:00p

Love, 

Renée, Will, Bobby, & Mark

*without having to be on the Vegas Strip

 

***************************************************************

6-30-10

Feast or famine

Or more accurately, famine or feast.

We only played twice in June.  That might be a record for fewest gigs in a month for the C-Monkeys.  During June, people would stop us on the street (or at restaurants, or at our jobs, or once in a public restroom we think), and the following paraphrased conversation would take place: 

LOYAL FAN: Hey, where are you playing this weekend? 

C-MONKEY: We’re not playing this weekend. 

LOYAL FAN: AW MAN! THAT SUCKS! 

Well jocko, those days are over!  In stark contrast to June, July might be a record for the most gigs in a month.  For instance, just this weekend, you have three, three, three choices for your listening/dancing/drinking pleasure: 

mc ms hmb

 

7/2/10 Maggie McGarry's, 1353 Grant Street, Between Vallejo & Green, North Beach, San Francisco - 10:00p-1:30a

7/3/10 Main St. Brewery, 830 Main Street, Pleasanton, CA 9:00p-12:00a

7/4/10 Half Moon Bay Brewing Company, 390 Capistrano Rd., Half Moon Bay, CA - 4:00p-8:00p

 Added bonus: at one of these gigs you could even get sand in your pants if you try. 

Come Feast with us,

 

Mark, Renée, Will, & Bobby

*********************************************************

6-24-10

Hi! Remember us? 

We were that band that you heard.  You remember!  We played that time at that place.  There were those people there.  C’mon, you remember!  We played those songs.  No, no, not the Cock¹ Tale Monkeys; the Cocktail Monkeys.  Yeah, that’s right!  We used to play almost every weekend.  Yes, we know, we know; it’s been almost a month.  We’ve been Recharging Our Batteries².  We’re tanned³, rested, and ready for a jam packed summer season. 

Come see what three weeks of rest does to a band. 

6/25/10 Fortino Winery, 4525 Hecker Pass Hwy, Gilroy, CA 95020 - 6:00p-10:00p

Love, 

Bobby, Mark, Renée, & Will 

 

¹ As in rooster. What were you thinking?

² We’ve also been making a CD, but that’s another story.  

³ Well, Will isn’t tanned.  Will doesn’t tan.  That boy only comes in two colors: alabaster white, and lobster red.

 

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6-1-10

Dang, we almost forgot!  

We're playing the Pleasanton Street party on June second from 6 to 9. 

(How’s that for concise?) 

Love,

Will, Bobby, Mark, & Renée

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5-25-10

Choices

People love choices.  People insist on choices. Paper or plastic, cash or charge, isle or window, smoking or non-smoking, Coke or Pepsi.*  People want choices.  Do you know why you should love this band?  Because we give you choices.  Some other bands; you can only hear them on this particular date and that particular place for this particular amount of money.  Us?  Why, we’re the choice band.  You have dozens of different places to hear us, and we play more often than reruns of Law and Order.  And talk about your song choices!  If you don’t like one song we’re playing, just wait around for about three minutes and fifty seconds.  We’ll be on to a completely different song.  Heck, sometimes we sound like a family of six all fighting over the car radio on a four hour trip. 

Take this weekend for instance:  Do you want a trendy, hip, cosmopolitan setting, or a laid-back, family friendly, seaside setting? Saturday we’ll be at Maggie McGarry’s in San Francisco.  Sunday we’ll be playing in the afternoon in Half Moon Bay at the Half Moon Bay Brewing Company.  It’s time to make a choice.

5/29/10 Maggie McGarry's, 1353 Grant Street, Between Vallejo & Green, North Beach, San Francisco - 10:00p-1:30a
5/30/10 Half Moon Bay Brewing Company, 390 Capistrano Rd., Half Moon Bay - 4:00p-8:00p

 mc hmb

Love,

 Mark, Renée, Will, & Bobby

 *With thanks to George Carlin – ‘cause we kind of ripped him off.

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5-19-10

A new venue

Once again, we’ll be playing a new club this week.  It’s called the Ultra Lounge.  That’s a new name.  It’s in a new location.  They have new furniture.  The liquor is new (except for that really old bottle of stuff you can’t afford – it’s better not to ask how much it costs, and anyway for how much it does cost, it’s not really not that much better than the stuff you and your friends always drink, but we digress).  They’ll be new people there (well, not new people, ‘cause you have to be over 21 to get in, but you know what we mean).  Some of them will show up in new clothes.  They’ll dance new dances.  Between 0 and 100% of them will be celebrating their new job.  There’ll be that group of people who went to see that new movie.  They keep a gnu in the back.  We knew this would happen. 

Come enjoy the newness of it all. 

5/21/10 Sanctuary Ultra lounge, 2369 First Street, Livermore - 10:00p-1:30a

 

Love,

 

Bobby, Mark, Renée, & Will

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5-12-10

Final performance at the Cardinal (probably)

We heard from another band that plays the Cardinal that it was closing in June.  We called to confirm if that was true.  If they are closing, that would be a big deal.  Almost any bar band that’s played in San Jose for the last forty years has played the Cardinal.   

Anyway, for reasons we’ll never fully understand, when we called to confirm if it was true that they were closing, they wouldn’t give us a definitive answer.  They’re probably closing in June, and they’re probably moving to a new location sometime after that. 

Now, it bugs us when some band says it’s that last time they are going to play someplace, and then a month or so later, they are right back in the same place.  So we don’t want to say that this will be the last time, but it will probably be the last time.  The place has a lot of history, and it pretty much is the only south bay venue we play as of now, so you’ll probably want to come out to hear our probably last performance there – probably. 

Saturday, on the other hand, we’ll be at the Main Street Brewery in Pleasanton.  It will not be our last show there (probably - who knows?  Do we look like Nostradamus?).  

This week's line up: 

5/14/10 The Cardinal, 3197 Meridian, San Jose - 9:30p-1:30a

5/15/10 Main St. Brewery, Main St. Brewery, 830 Main Street, Pleasanton - 9:00p-12:00a

c m

Love,

Will, Bobby, Mark, & Renée

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4-29-10

Mmmmmmm

We'll be making music at Maggy McGarry's  We'll meet Marty Balin, Megan Fox , Maureen Stapleton, Monty Hall, Mary Heart , and Mr. T.  We'll drink Mai-tai's,  Margaretas, milkshakes and Manhattens.  We'll listen to such menorable musicians such as Mendelson,  the Monkeys,  Madonna,  and Van Morrison. We'll listen to meaningful melodies like My Girl, Moon River, Macarthur Park, Mack the Knife, and Handle's Messiah.  We'll dance the Mambo, the Macarena, and the Merengue.

We hope you make it.

 

5/1/09 Maggie McGarry's, 1353 Grant Street, Between Vallejo & Green, North Beach, San Francisco - 10:00p-1:30a

Love, 

Renée, Will, Bobby, & Mark